Don’t Plan Your Rehearsal Dinner Without Reading This First

When thinking about planning a rehearsal dinner, most people have a lot of questions:

What is a rehearsal dinner?
When is it traditionally held?
Why do we have rehearsal dinners?
Who should host the dinner?
Who should be invited?
How formal should it be?
Where should the dinner be held?
Who else should be considered?
How should you invite your guests?
When should the invitations be sent?
What happens during the dinner?

We have answers for all of the questions in order to help you plan the best rehearsal dinner!

Photo By Cassidy Carson

What It Is

The rehearsal dinner is traditionally held the night before the wedding, often on a Friday, and usually starts at about 7 p.m. This leaves time for attendants to get there from work. For a Sunday or holiday wedding, you have more options. Since the rehearsal dinner has become more of a celebration in its own right than just a formality, some couples choose to hold the event two nights before the wedding. This way, there’s more time to relax, recuperate and get ready for the main event. If most attendants won’t be arriving until late on the eve of your wedding, a breakfast celebration the morning of the wedding can be a fabulous alternative. And, of course, skipping the rehearsal meal altogether is perfectly acceptable (sometimes there’s just no way to fit it all in).

What It’s For

The rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity for your two families to spend time together before the wedding day in a not-so-hectic setting. Take advantage of the relaxed environment, full of happy anticipation—come wedding night, you’ll most likely be pulled in too many directions to put in quality time with anyone. The ultimate goal is to relieve some prewedding tension and make everyone feel comfortable with the upcoming nuptials, while not upstaging the main event.

Who Hosts

Traditionally, the groom’s family organizes and pays for this fete, but you two can definitely take matters into your own hands—or both sets of parents may choose to share responsibility. While you as the honored couple may have input on the overall direction, if your future in-laws host, you should hand over the title of creative directors to them as much as you can. On the other hand, if you’re hosting, you get to make the decisions. So you’ll want to give yourselves enough time to scout venues in order to book one four to six months in advance.

Whom to Invite

At the very least, the rehearsal dinner guest list includes your immediate families , wedding party members and their spouses or significant others, and the parents of any child attendants (inviting the children themselves is up to you). You should also invite the officiant and his or her spouse to the dinner—they may not come, but it’s a polite and generous gesture to offer.

What It Looks Like

The great news? You can opt for an event that’s formal (banquet or garden party) or casual (outdoor picnic or barbecue). If your wedding is the climax of the weekend, don’t let your rehearsal dinner overshadow it—this get-together should be the sneak peek. Since the rehearsal dinner is often more informal than the wedding reception, the food and atmosphere can reflect that. Ultimately, the setting of the rehearsal dinner depends on the budget, how many guests there’ll be and what kind of party the host envisions.

Where to Have It

A sit-down dinner at a hotel ballroom or fine restaurant are often go-tos, but there’s no reason to feel limited to that. Couples are hosting their rehearsal dinners anywhere from backyards to art galleries and even on the beach. And feel free to use the term “dinner” loosely—cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, a buffet and a barbecue are all great options. Be sure to specify on your invites so guests know what to expect and how to dress.

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